Sunday, April 4, 2010

CPSIA - 50 Rhinestones, with Apologies to Paul Simon

This was submitted as a comment to one of my blogs on rhinestones. It's too good to waste as a mere comment. Enjoy!


Just don’t eat those 50 rhinestones…

(With apologies to Paul Simon)

"The problem is all because of lead", she said to me
The answer is clear just not commonsensically
I'd like to help you as you move to be lead free
Just don’t eat those 50 rhinestones…

We asked for guidance ‘cause we don’t want to be sued
CPSIA’s no help; its meaning can be misconstrued.
She just repeated, at the risk of being crude,
just don’t eat those 50 rhinestones…
Please don’t eat those 50 rhinestones.

Don’t have them for a snack, Jack
Don’t put them in a pan, Stan
Don’t soak them in soy, Roy
You should be lead free
Pretend they are pus, Gus
You don't need to taste much
Don’t put ‘em in your tea, Lee
You should be lead free

Don’t have them for a snack, Jack
Don’t put them in a pan, Stan
Don’t soak them in soy, Roy
You should be lead free
Pretend they are pus, Gus
You don't need to taste much
Don’t put ‘em in your tea, Lee
You should be lead free

We told her that the kids all like their bling.

That its safe even when connected by a string.

She just smiled and talked of toys made in Beijing
and warned about the fifty crystals…

She was sure something somewhere would prove her right
Put these stones on stuff and someone will indict
And then I realized it had become a new sound bite
To Say ‘Don’t eat those 50 rhinestones’…
Please don’t eat those 50 rhinestones.

Don’t have them for a snack, Jack
Don’t put them in a pan, Stan
Don’t soak them in soy, Roy
You should be lead free
Pretend they are pus, Gus
You don't need to taste much
Don’t put ‘em in your tea, Lee
You should be lead free

Don’t have them for a snack, Jack
Don’t put them in a pan, Stan
Don’t soak them in soy, Roy
You should be lead free
Pretend they are pus, Gus
You don't need to taste much
Don’t put ‘em in your tea, Lee
You should be lead free

- anonymous