Tuesday, February 23, 2010

CPSIA - Redesign the Dog!

I hope you didn't miss the hubbub today from the American Academy of Pediatrics over dangerous hot dogs. Apparently, you can choke on hot dogs. This shocking revelation stimulated an outpouring of news articles, including this one: "Pediatricians call for hot dogs to be redesigned". I guess the bun would have be altered, too. Readers, submit your suggestions as comments! I am looking for something very "Space Age" but also exquisitely safe.

Pundits across the blogosphere couldn't let this pass, like our friends Walter Olson ("Cut grapes into pea-sized portions?") and Lenora Skenazy ("Surely You Must Be Choking!"). Many newspapers repeated the AAP's call for warning labels on items like nuts, certain hard fruits and hot dogs. "Back away from the peanut slowly, Tommy, I don't want you to choke!"

Any of this ring a bell? The AAP remains among the most ardent of the CPSIA advocates. They are in regular contact with the Waxmanis and advise on which scraps of relief we might be allowed. In fact, my spies point to the AAP as the big rabble rouser on rhinestones (sooooooo dangerous!) Having succeeded in gutting the children's products industry, the AAP have turned their attention to that symbol of America, the hot dog. Parents cannot possibly deal with hot dogs without government intervention - individual responsibility is so passe. The AAP will make us all so safe . . . .

This seems to be a theme of this space - the world seems to have lost its moorings. Redesign the dog, indeed. Spare me.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anyone who has common sense knows that you must cut hot dogs into small pieces for little children who are unable to eat them safely otherwise. After that, you are old enough to be "on your own". Even adults can (and DO) occasionally choke on hotdogs and die. I happen to know of one such case myself--knew the man personally. People also can choke on nuts, grapes, or anything else. ACCIDENTS sometimes just happen. Educate parents, yes, please! But don't take away my hot dog and bun! I was capable of cutting them up small for my children when they were little--now they are all old enough to chew them carefully and sanely.

Mary said...

Wow, how ridiculous. I may not be a parent yet (about 7 weeks to go!) but the idea that apparently I'm too stupid to know to cut foods into small pieces for children just learning to eat solid food is just as crazy as the rest of it.

Yes, you have to worry about choking and you have to watch your children, but maybe that's why the Newborn Care class I'm taking teaches you how to do CPR and deal with choking. Wouldn't it be better to spend money to make sure all new parents know that instead of on ridiculous legislation?

Anonymous said...

Wow! Don't know how they'll redesign bananas! (Also a choking hazard for little ones.)

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh at the redesign of the foods, most of which come in that form from nature. Let's hear it for a little genetic engineering!

What I never hear in any of this stuff coming from our government is anything about education. If kids are choking, shouldn't the first step be education, not re engineering our food supply?

Jamie Flinchbaugh said...

How about hot dog-sauce, kinda like applesauce. Or hot dog-shakes?

I heard somewhere onetime from this guy I know that all people eventually die. We should probably outlaw living. Imagine all the people we could save.

Rick Woldenberg, Chairman - Learning Resources Inc. said...

I think hot dogs should come out of a tube, like toothpaste. Who wants a squeeze of hot dog?!

Education is part of the solution to any complex problem. In this particular case, I think the risk is self-evident to all adults so I doubt education about the risk of choking would have any noticeable impact and thus is not worth the money. Think about deaths from choking - they total about 60 per year. With 300 million of us putting food in our mouths upwards of 5-10 times a day (ten meals or snacks, not ten chews), that's a pretty low rate of accidents per food intake.

Some further education about the Heimlich Maneuver, perhaps in schools or Rec Centers, might help reduce deaths. Squeezable tubes of hot dogs won't do it.

Anonymous said...

I don't know. I've seen untold Dads cut hot dogs into little circular throat plugs:) Of course an education campaign is unlikely to reach them.

Maybe dads should not be allowed to feed their children. Actually, far more accidents happen with Dads than with moms so maybe Dads should come with warning labels!

Insanity at its best.

jennifer said...

personally i think hot dogs are gross but that is besides the point....this is ridiculous. americans need to start being responsible for themselves and use common sense - the government and aap should have bigger things to worry about.

Tristan Benz - Maiden America - www.maidenus.com said...

How about government issued feeding tubes (that would save a lot of time in labeling, learning to chew, making common sense decisions on our own, etc.!)? And, since anyone, at any age, can potentially fall in a tub, shall we require government-issued, non-slip flower decals be surgically applied to the bottoms of all American feet? Or what about government issued "bubbles" - as life is never without potential for injury along the entire spectrum of one's life, perhaps we need a range of sizes?

This is utterly HI - LAR - I - OUS!! I seriously think I'm going to need to pre-order the Depends if these government types keep on going the way they're going.

Husband chimes in: I recommend warning labels on all food..."must swallow to avoid choking!"

london said...

Redesign of the food ...it such a great joke..

Anonymous said...

Maybe this was a sad attempt by government & aap to scare overweight kids into exercising? Run from the choking hot dogs, lose a couple pounds...
My question is...being from the great state of Wisconsin and admiring other forms of tasty sausage, does this warning exclude brats? My kids love them too!